Fear of being alone or Rejection

The everyday person has the potential of overcoming the fears within their lives. The task is how to begin the process, and which of the many fears to work on first. Today it the “Fear of Being Alone” and it works along with the “Fear of Rejection”

Overcome Loneliness means making the right choices

Loneliness is a feeling that you can panic about or completely delight in. A current belief and circumstance that you have complete control in altering. If you desire change then reading this blog is the beginning to make some choices to overcome this fear.

Learn to feel confident with others are not around

What daily needs do you struggle with to take care of yourself?
Now that you have that list, and have prioritized it you need to ask for a family member, personal friend, someone you trust, or a personal coach for help. When I say help it is not to do the task for you, show you a system to complete the task. A system you can refer to on a regular basis. If it is a large task, de-chunk it into smaller tasks. Some of the smaller tasks you can resolve yourself and others you get the advice.

Well liked and taking control of you life

If there is a relationship between what others think of you and how you relate to others, you threatening your self-image. You want to be well-liked, popular or a large number of close friends so your vision of yourself is always linked to how happy you are when you in that social setting.

Define yourself and your essence in a way that does not depend upon what others think.

1. Set a goal of “Seek happiness for yourself and others” and you can still do these things:

· Treat others kindly, honestly, and assertively
· Be a person of integrity; and not worry about other's reactions to you

The objective is you will not be dependent upon what others think, feel secure, control you own personal image and happiness.

Emotions Euphoric or Tormented

Emotion attachment is something we all gain as we connect with friends or loved ones. Get attached to a person too quickly usually can be a sign to watch for. The higher the emotional connection is the more the potential of having a fear of rejection. Any action between you and another that can give you an euphoric feeling can be leave you tormented from rejection.

So equal to that is a desire for you to be wanted by the other person. You can place a barrier between each other quickly by being too emotional or needy thus ending the connection. You must try not to have high expectations early on in the relationship. There has always been a saying of “take one day at a time”.

To be in a happy relationship means that it takes two to work on it together. You each have to set boundaries as to how far you over extent your energy etc. Some boundaries maybe set but that flexibility is an important factor.

Different people have different surrounding or density of people within an 80km/50 mi radius. Our culture or society has influenced us that there is only one person in this whole world that is the right one. Depending on interests and population etc, there is a very high percentage that there is more than just one person you would connect with. Focus on today and that one person but know there is always a back up plan.

Today we covered a few area such as list you’re your daily needs, get some support and learn a system. Adjust your approach to working with others gaining assertiveness and control. Stay away from the rollercoaster of emotions with a new relationship. The next blog is dealing with intimacy, your time, your communication.

Common used values

Our day is either involved in work, school, recreational
activities, or at home. This list below is 25 common used
values in no particular order. What are your say TOP few
values.

Love, Health, Creativity, Integrity, Happiness, Growth,
Freedom, Wisdom, IntelligenceFinancial independence,
Passion, Making a difference, Confidence, Humour, Honesty,
Respect

Courage, Independence, Truth, Learning, Spirituality,
Open-mindedness, Knowledge, Trust, Success

I. My Home Values
1. Love - different aspects of love can be a factor. Love
can be doing things for someone else
- Being there for your spouse or family when
needed
- Can be the intimate or romantic side of a couple

2. Respect - To receive respect is to give respect. You
should consider that you almost need to give
out at least twice as much R.E.S.P.E.C.T just
to get some in return. To also give our respect
without any expectations

3. Health - I value my health and those around me. How
much do I value my health,to make sure I stay
healthy. If I could improve my health what time
consumer or value do I need to sacrifice to
improve my situation

II Social Values
1. Making a difference - This is one aspect where I
sometimes have gone too far in trying to make a
difference. The major shift has been more of setting
boundaries as to how much or when do I go the extra
amount. I learned that as a Christian we are to help
others. I would never question that suggestion. The
important part is we have take care of our own selves
first before we can be beneficial to the other person.


If you want to add a commnet beside each value, write why it
is important to you or what it provides for you.

:)

Values beliefs declining or not??

Are belief and core values declining? My statement relates to some people that have no idea where they are in their own personal values. With this in mind it could be hard to compare their personal values to one another or even to today’s society.

How does a person know they have compromised values if we do not understand what they are? Choices freely made in our society because we have the freedom. A quick decision when with our peers or due to time deadlines openly shows others our belief system. Each choice is the foundation for future choices.

An Example of Compromising Important Values

People most often get into trouble with their values when they compromise their most important values for values that are lower-ranking values on their list. To see how this works, consider the following example:

A person is a free-lance artist and has list his top four values in order, freedom, passion, accomplishment and security.

Passion and determination motivates him to sacrifice his income for the love of the career. The challenge is the ability to survive from a financial perspective. At one point he decides to give up some of his values working with tourists and grab on to his fourth value Security.

He enthusiastically accepted and soon found himself painting murals for a new client and his client’s friends. He was extremely happy. After several months, however, he began feeling depressed and resentful of his new job.

Through close examination of his values and feelings, he discovered that he had “sold out” his highest values (freedom, passion, and accomplishment) for one of his lower ranking values (security).

He missed the freedom he had to make his own choices about his art. Although his new customers were enthusiastic and exceptionally pleased with his work, he didn’t have the same sense of passion about creating them, and this diminished his sense of accomplishment as well. He also missed interacting with fellow artists and especially the tourists!

My question to you is, what are your top 4 values?

Do your values match your life at home, work etc?

Originally posted Aug 10, 2009
Updated July 21, 2010